i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i think i have herpe
just one?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
