No subtext here. People are naked.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
