I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
