How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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