I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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