Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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