great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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