Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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