i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
