I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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