We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
