I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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