i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Even my vagina gasped.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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