I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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