i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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