i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
