I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
