I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
