"it" just moved
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
