another moral hangover. fuck.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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