Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
