So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
