bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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