im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
