she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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