and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
