Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
