whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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