This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
