Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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