my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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