i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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