i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so let's talk penis.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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