Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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