whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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