Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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