the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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