i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
