When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
