You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
