So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's never too late to be topless.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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