im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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