is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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