they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
