So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
