I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
