Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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