Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
