I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
