WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
my poor anus
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
