you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
