You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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