doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
