I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
