It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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